We have all learned to live with voice mail as a

necessary part of

modern life. But have you wondered, what if God decided to

install voice mail?

Imagine praying and hearing this:

"Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select

one of the

following options:

Press 1 for requests

Press 2 for thanksgiving

Press 3 for complaints

Press 4 for all other inquiries

What if God used the familiar excuse... "I'm sorry,

all of our

angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However,

your prayer is

important to us and will answered in the order it was

received, so please

stay on the line."

Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you

call God in

prayer?... "If you would like to speak to:

*Gabriel, Press 1

*Michael, Press 2

*For a directory of other Angels, Press 3

*If you would like to hear King David sing a psalm while

you hold,

please Press 4

*To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven,

Press 5,

enter his or her Social Security number, then press the

pound key. (If

you get a negative response, try area

code 666.)

*For reservations at "My Father's House" please enter J-

O-H-N followed

by 3-1-6.

*For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the

age of the

earth, and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you

arrive here.

*Our computers show that you have already prayed once

today. Please

hang up and try again tomorrow.

This office is closed for the weekend to observe a

religious

holiday. Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you

need emergency

assistance when this office is closed, contact your local

pastor."